I hope you had a Fabulous Easter! I surely did. I usually get a little stressed when holidays come around but this weekend was very different for me! I want to share with you something that HELPED me get through this holiday stress free and without extra judging of myself.
My parents divorced when I was a baby so I have been blessed with an even bigger family (step family)! This seems fun right? Well yes it is for the most part, but in the past holidays have been a challenging time for me because I felt like I was being pulled in 10,000 different directions! Most of my family (grandparents, dad, aunts, cousins) live 2 hours away and the giver/ nurturer side of me always wanted to make everyone happy and meet everyone’s needs. It was common for me to come home after a holiday feeling tired, depleted, sometimes even getting sick. As hard as I tried to “fit in” or be the daughter/ granddaughter I thought everyone wanted me to be. I felt like my needs were never met. I felt like my family didn’t understand me and know who I really was.
So what changed?
Last week I took a class on communication it was called "Find Your Spiritual Realm, Find Yourself" by Diana Dorell and inspired by Doreen Virtue's book "Realm of Earth Angels". It shifted the way I was viewing things and I had an AAAAHHHHA moment! Different personality types communicate differently! (LIGHT BULB GOES OFF!) I started to think...so all these times when I felt miss understood it was really because my family didn't know how to communicate with me. What if they have been feeling miss understood too because I don't know how to communicate with them?
Different Types of Communicators
The Feelers :
These people thrive on 1 on 1 time. They communicate using a soft tone and they like to talk about their
feelings. They like to be acknowledged and asked how they feel.
They thrive on making jokes and entertaining a group. Don’t expect them to be on time, they will probably be late for the event so just laugh about it. Their communication is easy breezy. If you talk about things too deep they may start to day dream. They like short and sweet conversations or being active while they spend time together.
They like to live in another world. They love art, music, technology! They may be socially awkward and they may try to avoid large groups. They are very private and have trouble verbalizing their feelings. They
like having their own space so it’s better not to ask too many questions or expect them to tell you how they feel. To communicate or spend time with them chose an activity that involves creativity or outdoors.
The wise ones:
They are very honest and direct. They like to give advice and guidance. They love when you admit
you are wrong. The best way to communicate with them is to ask for their advice.
They are the helpers! They love to save the day! They thrive on appreciation. To spend time with them ask them to help you with something and let them know how much you appreciate them.
So what is your communication style?
I am a combination of a feeler and wise one. I love one on one time, deep conversations, giving advice and guidance, and talking about feelings. In the past at family events/ holidays I felt alone and like no one understood me. It was stressful for me to spend time with family because I didn’t know how to get through. This past weekend the pressure was released! For the first time I felt like I could relax! I didn’t NEED to be understood because I understood the people around me and I was able to communicate with them using their communication style! It was a win/ win for everyone!
So now your turn!
1. Identify your communication style
2. Identify the communication style of friends and family
3. Put it to practice
Please share your experience below! We can all learn from each other and when it comes to communication there is always room to grow :0)